Do you know the difference between a wedding and a marriage? A wedding
is that ceremony, lasting for a few hours, that marks the beginning of a
marriage. A marriage is expected to last the entire life time, with only
death separating the individuals involved (Ephesians 5:31). The energy we
expend on planning elaborate wedding ceremonies should actually be
transferred to preparations for the marriage. Do you know that a wedding
can be a disaster while the marriage is blissfully happy and successful?
Unfortunately, many weddings are very successful, but the subsequent
marriage is a huge failure. The most high wants your plans for your marriage to be
elaborate and that is why He gave guidelines in the Bible. The most important guideline being that you must never marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 2:14). Both parties must be committed to The Most High.
Sister, that love of your life that you are about to marry is not perfect.
Expecting him to be perfect is equating him/her with The Most High, and that is idolatry.
So, set your mind to focus on his/her good points, while prayerfully
accommodating his/her bad habits. However, know him/her well enough to
determine if you can accommodate any bad habits like violence, laziness,
drug abuse, etc, or hidden life-threatening problems like insanity.
Only The Most High can change him/her. Therefore, if you cannot accommodate any habit, do not go
into the marriage. Still on character, you need to know if this man/woman is ready
to be dedicated, faithful and kind to you
(1 Peter 3:7). If he/she is dedicated to you and respects your feelings and plans to be faithful to you, he/she will not flirt openly with other ladies/men in & out your presence.
Beloved, do your homework thoroughly before you enter into that
marriage. I pray for you that you will not walk into a satanic trap with wide open eyes, in YASHAYA name.
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no
need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14
She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She
riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a
portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the
fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17 She girdeth her loins with
strength, and strengtheneth her arms.18 She perceiveth that her
merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her
hands to the spindle, and her hands how the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out
her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She
is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are
clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her
clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he
sitteth among the elders of the land. 24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth
it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are
her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her
mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She
looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also,
and he praiseth her.
MEMORY VERSE: Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour
of the LORD. - Proverbs 18:22
A good wife is a great asset to the husband. And a loving
husband is a crown of glory to the wife.
Having established the fact that it is the marriage that needs elaborate
preparations more than the wedding, sister, the greatest preparation you
need to make for your marriage is your mindset. Enter marriage
determined that it is a life-long affair. Therefore, abstain from taking your
minor disagreements to your parents or siblings (Matt. 19:4-8). Be
prepared to prayerfully take all challenges to the most high. You will probably be
the prayer warrior in the home, encouraging him in spiritual matters.
Remember that a family that prays together, stays together, so never miss
an opportunity to pray with him.
You are about to enter into a partnership where the man is the senior
partner. Therefore, your level of education or position at work are
irrelevant in your relationship with your husband. He is still the head of
the family and must be treated as such. No matter how beautiful or
attractive you are, you must dress modestly (1 Peter 3:1-5); be a good
housekeeper and cook. Get ready for multitasking as a wife, mother and
housekeeper, in addition to your role as career woman or whatever you are
industriously contributing to the family's means of livelihood.
One of the best manuals for the married woman is that beautiful
description of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10-28. An industrious
woman, humble and modest, is a great asset to her husband.
Know that whatever a man sows, he will reap. So if you pray for his
mother to die, to avoid mother-in-law probiems, remember that you too
will have sons and they will get married someday. Would you want your
daughter-in-law to pray death for you?
Beloved, an elaborate preparation for your marriage will make all the
elaborate preparations for the wedding worthwhile. I pray for you that the
enemy will not lure you into hell in the name of marriage, in yashaya name.